


be kind

by igotostay



Series: skz: playlist of our life [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: 25/10/98, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chan is Baby, Fluff and Angst, Gen, GlowingGemLeeKnow, HappyLeeKnowDay, Lee Minho | Lee Know is Whipped, Lee Minho | Lee Know-centric, M/M, based on halsey’s song, chan is afraid of feelings, minho knows chan well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27177190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igotostay/pseuds/igotostay
Summary: minho whispered, "i'm always here, hyung. i'll always be kind to you. because you're the one that i love."✨chan is so afraid. afraid of getting hurt. afraid of minho. and minho doesn’t know what he has done wrong, but he’s insistent on finding out. because he misses his chan hyung.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: skz: playlist of our life [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983718
Comments: 1
Kudos: 55





	be kind

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by ‘be kind’ by halsey and marshmallow.

minho tries to understand. the way chan stays in his studio later than usual, the way chan clings tighter to felix, and most importantly, the way chan is ignoring him. minho tries understand. but he's not sure if he does. 

chan was a literal angel. he was the best leader any of them could ask for. the hard-working producer who had gained the trust of the park jinyoung to choose his own members. chan, who always took care of them all the time, ensuring they were healthy and happy. chan, who had not a single bad bone in his body. and his chan, who made minho feel safe with his warm hugs and encouragements. 

just like minho himself, the elder loved to give hugs and initiate skinship with the members. and despite the fluttering feeling in his chest every time chan touched him, minho couldn't live without them. chan was warm and loving, and everything about him screamed of his caring nature. it made minho's heart melt inside.

even before they debuted, he started to crave these touches that chan gave him, even if they were spontaneous. he loved the gentle smiles chan sent him, the nightly cuddles with chan when he returned from the studio. the comforting warmth that covered him every night, making him feel safe and secure, something minho grew to love. in the same way he grew to love chan. 

except, it had been three weeks since chan had came home before 12AM. it had been two weeks since chan had given him his comforting hugs. and it had been a week since chan sent him one of his warm smiles.

minho didn't know what he had done wrong. but with intensely packed schedules, he had no opportunity to confront the elder. sometimes he wonders if he had imagined it, the subtle glances chan sent him in between performances. he wonders if he dreams of the longing and pain in chan's eyes every time they make eye contact.

chan always hid his feelings. but minho had learnt to read him well enough. the sparkle in his eyes whenever he had found something he liked, typically appearing when he produced a new song. the shine in his eyes whenever he was proud, usually when he watches his members. the glaze in his eyes whenever he was deep in thought. the hollowness in his eyes when he was having a hard time. minho memorised each and every one of his looks since they had been roommates. so, minho thought he could read chan well enough.

enough to say that chan didn't look happy to be distanced from minho. enough to say that chan was definitely doing this on purpose. enough to say that chan was always dazed and worried lately. yet, there was something he still couldn't figure out; why chan was feeling all this.

minho wanted to give chan his space. perhaps he had unknowingly upset the elder. he told himself, it would be alright, chan would come to him soon. it was how chan functioned, if he had gotten upset with any of them, he would take time to process it and sooner would confront the member to resolve any issues. 

except it had been three weeks since chan grew distant, and minho was starting to get angsty. beginning to wonder if he had truly done anything wrong at all. because the daze in chan's eyes carried a tinge of sorrow, and minho wonders if chan was drowning in his own thoughts again. 

minho so desperately wanted to reach out to chan, comfort him and see his gentle smiles again. he was getting sick of seeing chan's stone-cold expression, even if it held no weight. he was getting tired of waiting up for chan every night, only for his efforts become futile because jisung would force him to sleep before chan came home at 3-4AM in the morning. he was getting frustrated with chan's harsher words flung towards him. and mostly, he was desperate to close the growing distance between him and chan. 

so, by the 25th day mark, minho flung on a hoodie before heading down to the company building, insistent on seeing chan that night. the streets were expectedly silent, but that didn't calm the storm raging in minho's mind. he would force chan to talk to him tonight, he just... didn't really know how. 

with the dim lights illuminating the company hallways, he knocked on chan's studio door lightly. he could hear chan fumble with his headphones for a while before he yelled a "come in", probably expecting one of the other 3RACHA members to be the one standing outside his door. 

which evidently explained his wide eyes and falling jaw as minho stepped in. minho inhaled deeply, trying to remain composed. he needed to know what was going on with chan, and nothing would stop him. he was stubborn, and proud of it. but chan was visibly unnerved in front of him. his fingers trembling slightly as he reached to pause his music mixing programme. 

minho cleared his throat, "uh... hey channie hyung. i just wanted to talk to you."

chan's head immediately ducked down, and minho froze, not knowing how to continue. chan always moved instinctively, and his current defensive nature was sending minho off course. he rarely saw chan outrightly this way, so fearful for himself. so afraid of minho. it stung. 

"hyung..."

chan responded bluntly, "go away, min. i'm working."

minho's eyes widened almost comically. chan never spoke to him this way. it was something chan reserved for people who bullied his loved ones. each word from chan felt like darts in minho's chest. and all he could do was try to stay strong, because he knew this wasn't the real chan. this was chan who was afraid. afraid that minho would hurt him. 

"i'm not going anywhere, hyung. you haven't slept more than three hours every day. come home and rest," minho spoke calmly.

chan subtly crossed his arm over his chest, feet wheeling his chair further from minho. minho's hand twitched, he was so tempted to reach out and pull chan closer to him, just the way they used to be. but he knew chan well enough to understand that chan needed his distance right now. enough to think. enough to not lock himself in the depths of his own mind. 

"hyung? what's wrong? you know you can always talk to me," minho persisted. 

chan's eyes glazed over almost immediately, accompanied with a bittersweet smile that caused minho to frown. the sinking feeling in minho's chest grew worse as he watched chan dig his nails into his arms, a habit of chan's to stop himself from crying. after a while, chan coughed slightly, and minho knew he was on the verge of tears. 

"hyung, i'm here for you. always. i'll always be by your side," minho reached out for chan's hands. 

this seemed to be the tipping point for chan, who began to break down in minho's arms. minho didn't have much expectations before storming here, but surprise at chan's reaction would be an understatement. he had hoped that chan would open up to him, but he would've never expected chan to cry in his arms. 

"i'm sorry, minnie, for hurting you," chan whimpered softly after a while.

minho shook his head slightly before wrapping his arms around chan a little tighter, "i'm okay, hyung. just let me in, please? let me help you."

chan clenched his eyes tightly as he hesistantly shook his head. he burrowed deeper into minho's chest, but made no indication that he would be talking anytime soon. 

"how about i tell you what i've seen on my end?" chan nodded. "hyung, you would and could never intentionally hurt me. i know you well enough to trust you on that. but you've also been avoiding me, and sticking to lixie instead. you've completely stopped coming home for sufficient sleep, breaking our habitual cuddling. you've been harsher to me than usual, and sometimes i feel like i no longer exist in your eyes."

chan shook his head roughly, pressing his face into minho's neck as if to convey his apologies again. minho could only return a soft smile in return, stroking chan's back comfortingly. 

"and, to me hyung, i think you're just afraid. afraid that i'm going to leave you, and you don't want to be vulnerable like that. perhaps i will never fully understand why you have these fears but, i'll always be here for you. you can cry to me and confide in me, always."

chan sighed sharply on minho's neck, a confirmation that minho had indeed hit the mark with his observations. minho softened considerably when chan stared up at him, both of their cheeks slightly flushed from their contact after being touch-starved for almost a month. 

"i... thanks, minnie... i think, i just, have been lost in my mind a lot lately. and... yeah, i guess what you said was right. but... i... i can't just begin unloading on you, you know? i... i trust you, i do. it'll just... take time," chan stumbled to find the apt words.

minho placed a small kiss on the top of chan's head, "take your time, hyung. just remember that i'm here for you. anytime. just... please don't ignore me again."

chan returned a peck on minho's jaw before nodding, falling into a comfortable silence as they layed on his couch. minho watched endearingly as chan's eyes began to droop, his exhaustion from working and crying setting in. 

when chan's eyes finally closed and his breathing evened, minho whispered, "i'm always here, hyung. i'll always be kind to you. because you're the one that i love."

**Author's Note:**

> happy 22/23rd birthday, minho baby!! i hope you have a blessed day today and that all your wishes may come true! thank you for always being here for us, and working so hard for us. wishing you all the love in the world 🥰


End file.
